Here's when you should and shouldn't send a dick pic

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4. Make it selective and tasteful

“In general, the more blank the background, the better,” says Marin. That’s because a dick pic is already challenging enough to take seriously, so any extra competition in the photo isn’t going to help, she explains.

That counts not only for the pile of laundry on your floor or the dirty bathroom mirror, but also your adorable dog, unmade bed, and half-empty (half-full?) beer can.

“Women can also tell when you’re being lazy with your picture,” Marin adds. “Don’t just pull your pants down and point your camera at your erection. Experiment with angles for the best light and real appeal, just like you would a regular selfie.”

Hear that? Play with your dick (pic).

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How does this make me look?

Brushing aesthetics aside, you might think the element of surprise from an unsolicited pic makes you look cheeky, or brave, a man who knows what he wants. Consider the alternatives: maybe you look desperate or sad, like you’ve not been listening, or can’t be trusted to respect boundaries. The YouGov study found women who received a dick pic, even one they’ve asked for, were more likely to describe it as gross, or stupid, than sexy or funny. Forty-four per cent of men thought dick pics were sexy vs just 14 per cent of women.

Dont snap the photo in the bathroom

First off, the lighting in a bathroom is rarely romantic—it’s often blindingly fluorescent or dim and yellowy. Second, “Toilets are not a turn-on,” Play says.

DON’T: Send her a dick pic in the morning

Your sausage is not something she wants to see first thing in the morning. Send her a photo of a cute puppy instead or something.

How to Respectfully Exchange Or Send Nudes

Again, first and foremost, consent! I’ve mentioned this several times, and it bears repeating because consent is a huge issue. Before you send your nude photo, you can ask directly if the other person is interested in a sexual conversation with you.

As I stated before, you must be genuinely asking and accepting of “no” as a complete and absolute response. That doesn’t mean asking again if the person wants to have sex a few messages or days later.

You must also accept no response as an answer as well. No one owes you their time, especially when you are sexually propositioning them anonymously or without having prior discussions about sex.

This article cannot cover every single situation you have with someone you want to send a dick pic to. The main point is to know what you want and to communicate that clearly and respectfully.

With that in mind, also note that women are often sought out solely for sexual purposes and may not take lightly to being asked sexual questions.

Until sexism and rape culture have changed to where women are respected and fully humanized, there’s no guarantee (and never will be) that you’ll get to have sex with whomever you want.

Until you do better by asking for consent, respecting boundaries, and not being a grossly entitled dude, you may not have many enthusiastic responses to your unwanted dick pics.

Am I sending this to the right person?

Even when sending pics someone has asked for, check it’s actually them. While it’s not a crime, currently, to send unsolicited nudes, it is illegal to send indecent photos to anyone under 18, even if they ask you to. (Pro tip: don’t talk to teenagers online at all.)

6. Throw in some **personal** sexy talk

It’s slightly unreasonable to expect a dude to take a brand new dick pic every time he wants to send one to a willing lady. (The handful of women I chatted with for purposes of this story admitted to saving tried-and-true nudes for future use, too, after all.)

That said, a little heartfelt personalization with a dick pic can go a long way. So when sending a picture, include a text (or in the case of Snapchat, a caption) that shows that your erect status is in direct response to or direct anticipation of your partner’s excitement.

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If you can reference something you’ve talked about in the past, or a sexy memory, that’s even better, Marin says.

Don’t go OTT—keep it classy. For example: “Just thinking about you in your red lacy bra and look what you’ve done to me.”

When Not To Send A Dick Pic

Unfortunately, receiving a dick pic is very often a hostile, uncomfortable and deeply unsexy experience for women; a brief, digital interaction that makes her day worse than it was before and causes her to batten down her IG and Twitter privacy settings more tightly. And a significant reason dick pics are so poorly received is because so many of the male nudes that turn up in women’s inboxes, DMs and text messages are unsolicited.

Receiving an unsolicited dick pic is a violation of a person’s boundaries. Unsolicited dick pics also contain an implicit message that goes something like this: “I’m not interested in your arousal or participation in this sexual event, I just want you to look at my big cock, whether or not you feel like it.” What could be less considerate or erotic than that?

All of this is to say that, if you want to create a positive dick pic experience for you and your recipient, you’ve got to establish consent first. You should only ever be sending your dick pic to people you are sure want to see it, and under no circumstances should you be adopting a scattershot distribution approach on dating sites or social media — this is likely to be perceived as a huge annoyance, and may end up getting you banned or reported as spam. Your dick might even become famous, for the worst possible reasons.

Establishing consent isn’t as awkward as you might think: simply ask your partner if they would like to see a nude pic. Be aware, though, that very early in a relationship might not be the best time to propose sending a dick pic, and it is generally good policy to wait until after you are sexting or have had a nude volunteered to you first. It’s also important to remember that, for some women, there’s never a good time to send a dick pic: they don’t float everyone’s boat, and you should be respectful of a “not now, not ever” answer. Long story short: err on the side of withholding your dick pic until you’re certain you’ve got a bright green light of consent to send it.

3. There’s definitely an art to taking a great dick pic

I’m not gonna lie: Having never possessed a dick myself, there’s a limit to my advice on the mechanics of taking a good dick pic. For that, check out this great guide from the creator of the blog Critique My Dick Pic (NSFW, obvs), Madeleine Holden. To summarize: Stop freaking out about size, no “log shots,” and setting/production value is important.

However, as a receiver of many D pics (both solicited and unsolicited), I do consider myself something of a connoisseur of the art form. Here’s what to know about creating a masterpiece:

  • One of the sexiest aspects of a dick pic is the sheer thrill of receiving one. It’s a naughty digital secret you now share together. Like the appeal of getting your own private striptease or sexting, it’s personal, just for you, and a pretty high level of intimacy for a bunch of pixels on a screen. Really makes a lady feel special, you know?

  • Confidence in your dick pic is super sexy — but arrogance makes us want to gag (and, no, not like the porn stars). Do not use dick pics as a platform to boast and showboat. Which goes hand-in-hand with …

  • When it comes to pics, size truly doesn’t matter. For one, you can’t even accurately judge in a photo. And if you’re throwing in an object for scale in a dick pic (like a banana — yes, I swear to god men do this), you’re already failing.

  • What matters is making your dick pic personal. No two dicks are alike, and your partner asked to see yours for a reason. It’s because they already like you, which means they probably already like your dick.

  • That segues perfectly into our next hot tip: NEVER REPURPOSE A DICK PIC YOU ALREADY SENT SOMEONE ELSE. It is painfully obvious when you’re using a stock photo equivalent of a dick pic. Don’t think we won’t notice, either. Like, damn, Easter’s coming up but there’s a Christmas tree in your photo … 🤔🤔🤔

  • I know the phrase “dick pic” rolls off the tongue (get it?!), but if you’re comfortable, you might want to try a dick vid. That invites all sorts of new possibilities for creativity and intimacy, that you should always discuss with your partner first.

  • Have fun. Sending nudes should be about making each other feel wanted, so only dick pic when both of you feel great about what’s happening.

  • There’s a lot of trust that goes into sending a nude. And don’t underestimate the need to protect yourself, your data, and your schlong. Check out these safety tips.

Last but not leastIm going to add my own bit of advice herehave fun!

While yes, you should put in the time, you don’t want to overthink it. Sending a dick pic is as much for you as it is for them, so if you’re not enjoying the process of taking it and all the flirty banter that comes with it, then sending dick pics might not be right for you!

Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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